Response to some criticism

Hi everyone! I wrote a post a few weeks back about women “respecting themselves” and I didn’t notice until recently that it had a negative comment. Click HERE to read that post. Now, everyone’s entitled to his or her own opinion, but I want to stand by what I said and remain accountable to you guys. I thought if one person is writing it, then others are definitely thinking it, so I just want to address the other side of this argument as it was proposed to me, as well as how I’m sure others are thinking about it. Of course, I don’t want to directly attack anyone, so I’m choosing to respond in a general manner to address the issue, should anyone else feel the way the commenter did. Like I said, I am honest, I will always stand by what I say and I think it’s important to remain accountable and that’s why I’m choosing to address this at all.

First of all, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. I’m not trying to push my beliefs on anyone. When I write my rants, I’m doing just that, ranting. So I’m often heated and passionate about the topic at hand. I never mean to offend anyone and I’m sorry if I do because that is honestly not my intention. I’m not trying to force anyone into believing anything. As I always state, these are simply my views and this is the way I express myself. This is my opinion. That’s it.

Secondly, this article was very clear about the narrative that a woman should not have to change the way she dresses to warrant any specific amount of attention. In fact I believe that the amount of attention a woman gets should not be blamed on what she is wearing. The solution is not to tell girls to change the way they carry themselves, but (in my opinion) to teach others (men AND women as I stated in my post) that it’s unfair and prejudice to judge women based on what they’re wearing. Instead, it’s about changing the entire attitude and paradigm around women being judged on what they wear, and it saying anything about their worthiness.

Thirdly, I always stand by what I say. When I say that I don’t think sex and alcohol make you a bad person – that’s exactly what I’m saying. I truly believe that. If I had children I would also tell them just that. If you are a responsible adult, capable of making smart decisions without hurting anyone or yourself, I don’t see a problem with either sex or alcohol. If you don’t agree, that is totally your prerogative, and far be it from me to tell you that you are wrong. I respect your opinion and I expect the same respect back.

I fully believe that purity means different things to different people. I will admit that I was very one-sided in my explanation that I believe the only purity to exist is purity of the mind. What I was trying to say is that in my opinion, pushing purity of the body is unfair and gives women the wrong idea about their physicality and sexuality. I don’t disrespect people who believe in that sense of purity, I just don’t. If you believe in a physical sense of purity, that's cool. But it's unfair to say that if women don't believe in that sense of purity, they're not respecting themselves. That's what I'm trying to say.

Lastly, I am in no way trying to bash anyone or any group. I refer to both men and women when I talk about heckling. I never mentioned any specific group because truly I’m not speaking to any specific group or trying to target anyone. I’m targeting the notion and the idea that women allow themselves to feel horrible as a person based on this notion that if they dress a certain way, they’re asking for it, and if they’ve had sex, engaged in alcohol or any other substances they’re somehow less of a person. Just as a woman has the right to “cover up” in a manner of speaking, if she wants to, she should also have the right to dress “less covered up” if she wants to, without fear of being persecuted – because that, in my opinion is unfair and it’s not equality.

I hope I’m being clear and holding myself accountable here. Again I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone here because that’s not what I’m going for. I realize now that this post could have come off as if my idea of purity should be the only one – and that’s not at all inclusive, I apologize for that. I’m always open to discussion and sharing of thoughts, after all that’s all I’m doing. Sharing my thoughts with you guys. And AGAIN these are just my opinions, I don’t expect anyone to follow suit and drop their beliefs for mine. I respect everyone’s opinion and different ideas/beliefs. What’s awesome to me is when we can discuss those together, and even though we may not agree, we can have an adult conversation about our differences and learn more about each other.

Thanks for reading.

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