I'm sitting here in tears. I don't even know how I'm going to go about writing this so I'm just going to write it.
Karyn Washington was the creator of forbrowngirls.com. We knew each other on a very minimal level. She messaged me once years ago after finding my blog, because she said that she was happy to find a confident coloured girl who was a model, and was interested in interviewing me for her blog to help send a positive message to other women of colour.
After that we became, I guess what she would call "Internet friends" and we had each other on Instagram and on Facebook and we would always comment on each other's pictures and statuses with positive comments, words of encouragement and kindness.
It's such a crazy intense world we live in that I can get so close and feel so impacted by someone who lives so far away and even someone that I barely spoke to.
I remember even going to her once when I was going through a difficult time being a woman of colour because I thought that she was someone that I could go to, to talk to because she always inspired me and gave me such amazing words of encouragement.
I remember sometime last month or maybe even the month before that, she wrote a very sad status on Facebook and it really hit me hard. I wrote her on her wall and I told her: you are brave, you are beautiful, you are confident, you are strong and whatever it is you'll get through it. Because that was the way that she made me feel.
Little did I know that this is how serious it was, so serious to the point where she decided to take her own life.
It just goes to show us that these days we never know what someone is going through. Even though it might've been a regular Facebook status that someone else could've scrolled by, Karyn was really pouring out her feelings and expressing the depression that she felt.
Through her work with "for brown girls", Karyn has inspired so many women of colour to be confident in their own skin and not to subject themselves to societal representations of beauty.
We connected because of our passion against shadeism and our passion for feminism in today's society.
This may all sound crazy because like I said, I've never met her and we only had an Internet friendship. But the impact she had on me was profound and when I heard today that she had passed away it made me extremely upset and I didn't want to believe it.
She was so young and had already done so many amazing things I can't even think of all the wonderful things she would've accomplished if she was still here.
It's so insane to think that this girl messaged me about my blog years ago, and we developed this crazy funny Internet friendship, where always it was commenting on each other's pictures and statuses and supporting each other... because she had very similar passions... and now she's gone. She took her own life and she's not here anymore. It has such an impact on me, it's insane that this can happen. At the same time as it's really wonderful that people can build those connections, it's really sad when they're lost in a terrible tragedy like this.
All I can say is Karyn you were such a beautiful human being. Wherever you are now, I really hope that you found your happiness. Please know that you made such a difference in so many peoples lives and you will be greatly missed. I will miss your words of encouragement and your constant kindness. And I'm definitely going to miss scrolling through my Instagram or my Facebook newsfeed and seeing your gorgeous face or your updates because they were always wonderful.
Goodbye my sister of colour you were beautiful inside and out. I will always remember you. Rest in peace Karen Washington.
Twitter: @liveshiv
Instagram: liveshiv
Tumblr: liveshiv.tumblr.com
No comments:
Post a Comment